If You Ever Want to Bring a Pirate to Meet Santa, Don’t!

Pirate meets Santa—what could possibly go wrong? In this holiday-themed addition to the series that began with If You Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don’t!, an enthusiastic heroine buddies up with a pirate while waiting to see Santa. Following her “don’t do as I do” formula, Parsley describes the pirate’s naughty-list shenanigans, which include interrupting Christmas carolers with a round of sea chanteys and brandishing a swordfish at the crowd. With the pirate’s red suit, scraggly beard, and Jolly Roger bandana, he looks like Santa’s creepy, long lost sibling. An elf freak-out and Santa walking the (mall fountain) plank ratchets up the chaos. Readers should appreciate that the pirate’s moment of redemption is quickly eclipsed by his undeniably naughty nature. Ages 4–8. (Oct.)